India ki Mobile..........

Agar mobile INDIA me bante to
usme message templates kuch
aise hote:
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1.Kamine call kar

2.Cigarette lete hue aana

3.teri bhabi k sath hu

4.Yaar kisi ladki ka no. tode

5.kaha hai saale ??

6.kal college ya bunk...??

7.Dimag mat khaa.

8.Yaar teri bhabi naraz ho gai
2-3senti msg to bhej

9.Abhi call mat karo jaanu,
papa jaag rhe hai

10.Baad me baat karti hu
mummy samne hai

11.ghumne chal rahi ho??
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N THE MOST IMPORTANT...
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12.balance nahi hai, call kar...

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Gyan Ganga.......

1. Dog road pe ulta pada tha to log uski puja krne lge.... Kyu??
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kyuki DOG ka ulta is GOD... (Pagal log)
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2. Mare huye insaan k muh me kya daloge??
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Birla cement.... Kyuki is cement me jaan hai...
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3. Wat is the cube of 13 ??
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Suroor, coz 13...13...13...= suroor...
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4. Wat would u call a girl who nevr laughs??
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"HASI-NAA"
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5. Why a heart broken person doesnt need GK??
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Coz, jab dil hi toot gaya to GK kya krenge....
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6. Agr 2 pipal k ped(tree) ko rassi se baandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahoge??
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Nokia - Connecting Ppl...
Bhagwan apko aisi status ko jhelne ki shakti de..

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Ek Dost ki Love Story......

Boy 1:" tune us ladki ke liye
Cigarette
chhor di..??
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Boy 2:" haan
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Boy 1:" daru bhi chhor diya..??


Boy 2:" haan!
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Boy 1:" Jua bhi chhor diya..???
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Boy 2:" haan!!
Boy 1:" abey to shaadi kyu nahi ki
usse ????
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Boy 2:" yaar itna sudhar gya tha k
usse bhi mast mil gyi
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aur usey bhi chhor diya..

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Dekho Pappu ki Hosiyari

Pappu baar baar apna facebook
ka Password bhool jata tha.
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Usne socha mein facebook ka
pasword kya rakhu jo kabhi na
bhoolu..
Fir usne apna password rakha
"INCORRECT"
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Ab jab bhi woh galat password
enter karta Facebook usey khud
bata deta
Your password is "Incorrect "

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Boy friend and girl friend..........

Ladkiya kabi khud pyar ka izhar Q
nhi karti..???
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Interesting jawab
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Taki break-up krte waqt ye keh sake
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Tum mere piche pade the mai nahi..
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Agree Boys ??

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Teacher ne suni Student ki kahani.........

Teacher -Tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student - Shaadi.
Teacher - Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge.
Student - Dulha Banunga.
Teacher - Ohho, I mean to say, bade hokar kya haasil karoge.
Student - Dulhan.
Teacher- Abbe,matlab bade ho kar mummie papa k liye kya karoge.?
Student - Bahu launga.
Teacher - Haraamkhor.. Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?
Student - Pota.
Teacher - Hey bhagwan. Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai.?
Student -"Hum do hamare do..!
HaHahahah........

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Laila and Majnu............

Laila ne majnu ko ek ped ke piche dekha aur boli
Laila: Tum Majnu ho na?
Majnu: Haan..
Phir kuchch der baad usne usko jhadiyo ke piche dekha aur boli
Tum majnu ho na?
Majnu: Haan main majnu hoon..
Phir kuch der baad usne usko Diwar ke piche dekha aur kaha
Laila:Tum majnu ho na?
Majnu: Haan Haan.. main Majnu hi hoon, tu mujhe tatti karne degi ya nahi..??

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Santa and His Family in Car.......

Car me Santa family ja rahi thi!!

police ne car ko roka aur bola:

ye suraksha week hai-
aap belt pehan kar car chala rahe ho-
isliye aapko 5000 ka inaam diya jata hai… aap is inaam ka kya karoge ???

Santa: main isse apna driving licence banwaunga.!

Tabhi uski maa boli: iski baat ka yakin mat karo-daru pikar kuch bhi bolta hai.

Uske papa neend se jage aur police ko dekh ke bole:
mujhe pata tha ki chori ki car mein hum zyada dur nahi ja payenge…
Ha Ha H ahaha..............

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Doctor and Lady......

Lady- doctor mere lips pe infection ho gaya hai.

Doc- kiss kitni bar karti ho?

Lady- saal me ek bar.

Doc- infection nahi zang lag gaya hai..
hahaha.............

 

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Wife, Boy Friend and Husband

Ek Ladki apne BF k sath Ghoom Rahi thi.. .
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Itne me us ka husband aa gaya aur uske BF Ko
pitne ... ... laga.

Ladki- Maar saale Ko
Apni biwi ghumaata nahi h,
Aur dusro ki biwi gumaane le aata hai...
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(itne me BF josh me
husband ko marne laga)
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Ladki - Maar saale Ko, na khud ghumaane le jata hai..
na kisi aur ko ghumaane deta..
hahaha.........

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Master and Pappu

Master: 2 mein se 2 gaye to kitne rahe?

Pappu: Samjh mein nahi ayaa masterji.

Master: Beta tumare pas 2 Roti hai, tumne 2 roti khali, 
tumare paas kya bacha?

Pappu: Sabji..
HaHahaha....... 

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Teacher teach student....

Student: Sir, log Hindi ya English mein baat karte hai,
Maths mein kyun nahi?

Sir: Zyada 3 5 na kar,
9,2,11 ho ja.
Warna 5 7 maar dunga.
6 kw 36 Nazar ayenge aur 32 k 32 bahar aa jayenge.

Student: Sirji Hindi, English hi theek hai
maths waqai khofnaak subject hai..!!

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Sardar jii ki Hosiyari.......

1 Chinese ,
1 Gora
aur
1 Sardar
ship me ja rahe the..
Achanak 1 Jinn aaya aur bola: "Samundar me koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga, Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!!"

Chinese ne Sui phenki.

Jinn ne dhoond li aur use maar diya ..

Gore ne memory card pheka.
Jinn ne dhoond liya aur use bhi maar diya..

Sardar ne kuch phenka..
Gin ne bohot dhunda, dhund dhund ke thak gaya aur puchhne laga. "batao mere aaaka main haar gaya,"
Sardar bola: "main bhi tera baap hu, maine disprin ki goli fenki thi, Chal Beta, Ghar Chal
Bohot Kaam Pada He!!"
JINN Shocked &
"SARDAR ROCKED"

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Only for girls education..

4 girls sitting in a group can say:"
Tera
bhai bada mast dikhta hai..
Introduction to karwa...
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But 4 guys in a group can never say:"
Teri Behan
to mast lagti hai....
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Isse kehte hain ladko ke SANSKAAR..
Kuch sikho Grls. .....

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The Value of a Student..

1 saal ke 365 din hote he.
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Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani
pure saal ke 122 din
365-122=243
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Diwali ; holi etc...aur summer
vacation gino 61 din
243-61=182 din
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Usme 52 sanday.
182-52=130 din.
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Festival ke 40.
Collage festival 15 din
130-55=75 din.
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Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante
ke hisab se 46 din.
75-46=29 din.
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Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke.Uske
15din...
29-15=14 din.
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Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte he.
14-10=4 din bache.
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T.V dekhne ke 3 din.
4-3=1 din bacha Yaar
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1 sal me 1 din hi to birthday
aata hai
Ab birth day ke din kon padhe yaar.. 

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Teacer and student both are very funny.

Ek ladka school der se jata hai
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Principal :"Late kyo hue ???
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Boy :"Bike kharab ho gyi the
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Principal :"Bus mei nhi aa skte the
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Boy :"Maine kaha tha sir
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par apki beti k nakhre khatam ho tab na..

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Boy : Tumhara naam kya hai? . .
Girl : kyun btau? Mein tumhai janti bhi nahi!!
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Boy : Na batao mein konsa tumhai apni BMW mein betha raha hun! .
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Girl : PINKY, B.com2nd yr wo samne wali gali me right hand pe 4th number pe mera ghr hai 32/b, Ghar mein ek chota bhai n mummy papa hain,
Tution timing 6 to 8.
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Boy:- Ok Jis Din Main BMW kharid lunga na usss din jarur baithaunga thik hai...
Very Intelligent Boy....

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Two Friends in forest

2 dost jungle mein, Raste me raat ho gayi wo TENT laga k so gaye..
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RAAT ko 1 dost ki ankh khuli..

Usne dusre ko jaga k kaha:"
Aasman ki taraf dekh ke bata tujhe kya nazar aata hai..??
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2nd:" Bahut sare sitare
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1st:" Isse kya pata chalta hai..??
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2nd:" Asmaan khubsurat hai..
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1st: "Abey Newton ki aulad Tent chori ho gaya hai... :-)

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Dhoom 4 coming soon

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Servant of Girl Friend

Toofani barish me raat ko pizza
hut pe
1 Ladka pizza lene Gaya
Waiter: Do u have any GF..??
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Ladka: Kutte is tufani barish me
Aur
Kya meri MAA pizza lene bhejegi."

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